Saturday, May 10, 2008

Happy Mother's Day Mom - I Miss You

As I walked into CVS on Thursday my eyes were drawn directly to the display of Mother's Day Cards sitting inside the door. My eyes lowered and I tried to stop the tears from forming and dropping down my cheek. I won't be buying a card or deciding which flower mom will like most. The truth is she loved them all, and it took very little to bring a smile to her face. I lost mom to leukemia in February of 1993 the week after her birthday. She was only diagnosed a few months before and so quickly without much warning she was gone. I would like to ask everyone out there this weekend as we celebrate our mother's to please give your mom a hung for me. Tell her you love her, don't think she knows, just tell her. In addition to the card, flowers and other gifts you are bringing tell her something that she has given to you inside, something she gave you as a child or an adult.

You experience things in your life that make you think you can now handle anything, that there are no more surprises. Nothing could be worse then the pain you have already endured. I sat in the hospital room beside mom and I heard friend after friend come in and tell her you should be proud of your children you have done a good job and you were a great mom. She dedicated her whole life to her kids and this pain, this loss is endless.

Losing my mom has changed me forever and I miss her in every moment of the day. I find myself continually trying to find who I am each day because such a big part of me is gone. You don't realize how many times you call her just to hear her voice because it makes you feel safe. When you are in the middle of making that big dinner for the first time how she saved you from disaster. She took the scary dark nights as a child and chased all the monsters away. How she directly influenced so much of my life, the clothes I wear, my hair color, my views on men, love, and even the way I decorate my house. When I look into the mirror I can see her eyes and her smile and feel her close to my heart.

Those of you with your mom by your side celebrate her life and honor her love. For those of you who are lost on this day like me remember to cherish your memories and never stop loving your mom.

3 comments:

BWoP said...

((((HUGS))))

It was great to see you again!

OhCaptain said...

I'll be giving my Mom and extra hug for you tomorrow.

Great post.

Baywolfe said...

That was a great piece of writing. My dad died a few weeks ago, so we're in the process of moving my mom in with us.

It's very strange when the roles are reversed and the children take care of the parents.