Sunday, May 18, 2008

How I Found Recovery! Part 6

I HAVE BEEN CLEAN FOR 14 YEARS, 11 MONTHS, and 17 DAYS!

A TOTAL OF 5466 DAYS!

It was on February 22, 1993 that she called me in the morning which was a Monday. She said she wasn't feeling all that well and that she had black and blue marks on her arms and legs, but couldn't remember bumping anything. I told her she needed to call the doctor and she said no because she had an appointment with him the next day. She said she was still going to go to Atlantic City so she could take her mind off of how she was feeling. I told her to call me after her doctor's appointment to let me know what he said. I did get the call but it was from the hospital and she told me that he admitted her because the leukemia had returned. I got into my car and drove home to be with her. When I got to the hospital I could sense that it was not good. They let me stay the night. Nurses coming in every 15 mins to check on her. Finally after a long night, the next morning they started chemothearpy again. When she came back to her room, it was filled with all her friends and family. She slept a lot that day even with people coming and going. (Yes during the course of all this, I would take trips to my car to get my friend Cocaine to help me get through all this). It was around 4:00am when a nurse had come in and as she was taking my mom's vitals she realized my mom had slipped into a coma, I called my brother who was in Japan for some basketball tourney and my mothers sisters and brother, one of whom you hear me speak about quite often my Aunt Nancy. She was the first to arrive and the one who I was and am still closest to today. My brother was frantic that he could not catch a flight until the next evening, however I tried to reassure him that I would let my mother know that he was trying to get there as soon as possible. I sat and talked to my mom hoping that somehow she was hearing what I was saying, and I couldn't have said it enough how proud I was that she was my mother and thanking her for all she has done for me in my life. The doctor came in and told me that if she should come out of the coma there was a chance that she would be a vegetable and that he has done everything in his power to do all that he can do. He told me it was just a matter of time. Again I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I was going to have to be strong and deal with whatever was to come my way.

On February 25, 1993 my mother joined my father. The only peace I had was knowing that they were going to finally be together.

My mom's mother wasn't in good shape herself and when they told her my mother went into a coma as she was coming down the steps she fell and ended up in the hospital. It was hard for any of my Aunt's to take care of my grandmother so I decided I would move back to Pa and help as much as I could. And when I say as much as I could means that my addiction really was full blown. I can tell you how much a day I used but it really doesn't matter, the fact is that I was using very heavily even more so than after I had lost my father.

My brother and I had to figure out what we were going to do with the house and all the belongings in it. You see my brother and I really were not getting along because of my drug addiction. My brother was the executive of my mothers will. He told me that since I was moving back home that I could have the house and whatever money was left to us that he would put into an escrow account until I got my shit together. Yes I was pissed and especially after he told me that he and mom had talked about it way before she even got sick. If you can remember me telling you that my mom was paying all my living expenses this meant that I would actually have to go work for a living. But I had a plan, I was going to sell the house because of course I didn't need a big house it was only me and I would have that money to use to get an apartment and for my recreational use of drugs. Well I need to tell you I sold the house for almost triple of what they purchased it for, I got an apartment and the rest of the money went up my nose.

To be continued.......

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