Friday, March 28, 2008

Doubt, Hate, Anger, frustration, calm, understanding, terms, agreement, happiness, GO!!!

What a roller coaster ride I have been on.

I don't know what to expect really, but I've been having some internal dialouge with myself and doubting my game. I really hate poker.

I have run so bad that last three events, and not being able to know how to combat it makes me really doubt myself. I feel like I have hit rock bottom, and just want to quit. The last couple of months have been phenomenal to me in poker. Not just results, but in my own reognition of learning more about how to play, and an understanding of how and what to do in situations I never realized before.

I have met some of you fine people, have had a great time conversing on line, and have really gotten alot from learning from several of you on how to better myself. Then this week happened and I feel like emptying (whats left) of the account and taking up bowling. I dont know how you guys do it. Handle the ups and downs that is. And I am really starting to think why I even played in the first place. Just SOOOOOOO card dead, its ridiculous

It was never like this before. I went into any game, not caring, just playing my cards and having a ball. But now that I feel I am armed with some knowledge, I am getting upset with the fact that I can't even play, let alone compete.

Then last night after I went out of the RC, I girly chatted Riggs, and told him of my disgust and fury. At first he didnt understand what I was saying, replying "what are you talking about?", and "are you serious?"

This kind of made me mad, because I felt he wasn't giving my concerns enough consideration. He was still in the RC, and not really paying too much attention to me, and then all of a sudden, he wrote a bunch to me.

I felt a little like I was being scolded and didn't take it to well at first, but I think after I reread it, I started to understand a little. and started to feel a little better. I guess.

In a nutshell, he wrote:

Dude, if you can't play through three days of running horribly, you might as well quit. Don't expect to catch cards every single time you play. And if you can't handle that, you'll compound the issue by making stupid decisions.

At this point I didnt think he understood what my issue was... I mean, I really felt horrible about how I was playing. then he pointed out that I wasn't playing. I was catching horrid cards and shouldnt have been playing either.

finally, what struck was one of his final comments that went something like this... "you are just learning more about the complexities of this game. you have done everything right in the sense that you are trying to put them into practice., Over the last month, maybe hitting some hands have covered up some of those mistakes. Believe me, you have made mistakes that you haven't even noticed, and you probably have done somethings right that you might view as a mistake, but if you are going to let three days of running bad turn yourself around, and forsake everything you have learned, you will be doing a diservice to those who have gone out of their way to help you. You need to understand that this should be used as a learning experience as well, and taken that way. Not as an exuse to fold up tent and go home. Quit your goddamn belly aching."

I felt like he was disappointed in me. and I felt like how the hell do I use this as a learning experience? The biggest point I guess is that it really only is 3 days of a bad run. And to his point, what is three days in the span of my experiene. He asked me how I would feel when I experience it over the course of 3 months or so. Is that possible? Does that really happen? how do you cope?

I feel I have improved my game a great deal. and I have some things I have learned that I haven't put into practice yet. I'm happier now, and actually look forward to trying again, but I am realizing that I need to see things long term, and not just in the now.

Do you have any suggestions? Is it ridiulous that I am reacting this way? And where do I go from here?

10 comments:

Riggstad said...

i wasn't solding you... I was drunk :)

But get off the pity wagon and start playing.

You'll work through it just like everyone else.

I would say ask Fuel how he handles the swings, but he hasn't seen a bad run last more than a hand.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!

BWoP said...

If you look back on some of your past "success", you might find that a lot of it was based on "getting lucky."

Now, you're trying to have "success" based on "playing smart."

It's an adjustment period.

There will be WEEKS at a time when the cards just don't fall your way.

If you ask anyone who plays regularly, they'll tell you the same.

Your job is to not compound the blech of card death by playing bad hands poorly.

Sometimes you just can't push the action.

PATIENCE.

lightning36 said...

Yeah, all this advice is easy to give since we have all been there, but it still sucks when YOU are the one running bad.

I think a lot of us have felt like you do -- you get pissed, you talk about quitting, maybe you vent on your blog or to the people in your real life. But ... a little time away from the table and a little better luck with the deck, and suddenly the world seem right again.

Let's hope you turn things around fast ... unless you are up against me!

BamBam said...

Might I suggest some reading material?

Grab an adult bevy and start here :

http://bam-baminbedrock.blogspot.com/2008/02/so-you-wanna-roll-like-bam-bam-huh.html

and then go here :

http://bam-baminbedrock.blogspot.com/2008/01/if-you-cant-laugh-at-yourself.html

I ran the dreaded 6 month card dead gauntlet Donkette. It''' surely not happen for that long again I hope. (and pray) But it does happen that cards get hot and cold. It's part of the game and it only hurts more, after you've seen some improvement and success as you have of late.

Hopefully by now, you've got youself that drink!

Cheers !

bayne_s said...

When you get shit cards for 3 days in a row it is an ideal time to start playing Razz.

This will not help much as suddenly you will be looking at rolled up Kings.

I do find when I am running bad it helps my psyche to switch games or play on another site. It doesn't neccesarily improve how I run but it does stop rewarding (rake) the same site for giving me shitty cards.

Fred aka TwoBlackAces said...

You need cards? ;-)

What you need is a little poker relief session. This is why I played the donkament a few weeks back, and I played it like it was a pushfest. Ask Minidonk, she was a huge beneficiary early on of my craziness. Plus it's fun, and in my case, started me on a nice little heater. Maybe it can do the same for you. Good luck!

on_thg said...

It starts with three days of being card dead.

It progresses to weeks upon weeks of card dead.

Then it transitions to months upon months of not being card dead but instead losing with dominating hands. Over and over. Huge favorites going down in flames constantly.

About that time, you realize that it's just a game, and that you take enjoyment where you can - from the people. I also highly recommend inflicting lots of bad beat stories upon your readers.

Poker itself sucks. Big time.

Shoot, I meant to try and cheer you up. Ignore all of that. It'll get better, and I think you lasted longer than I did in the Riverchasers...

katitude said...

a very well written post.

And yes, a bad run can go over a few months, and more than a few months - ask me how I know this.

The one light at the end of the tunnel (that isn't an oncoming train) is the knowledge that the law of variance states that what goes down eventually comes up. Yes it will go back down again, but if you keep up with the learning curve, you'll be better prepared to weather it.

Don't give up!

smokkee said...

everyone runs bad at some point.

the way you let it affect your play says alot about whether you can be a winning player or not.

Fuel55 said...

You have no idea what running BAD is like. Call me in 4 months when you are down $30K.