I'm sitting here wondering if this is the place to really share what I'm feeling today. You see Aniguy and Mini Donk are on a field trip, and I really don't feel much like talking on the phone with other friends, so for me the best thing I can do is write what I'm feeling. Some of you know that I'm in recovery and for those of you who don't know, I've been in recovery for 14 1/2 hrs and on May 31st I'll be celebrating 15 years. Not to bad for someone who never thought they could have 1 day without the use of drugs. I received a call from a friend to tell me that another friend has passed away due to a drug overdose. My friend Nick was a very instrumental part of my early recovery, when I thought I couldn't get through another day without the use of drugs he would sit and talk with me for hours and hours and when he got home he would call me and stay on the phone until he knew I was asleep. At the time he had 6 years clean so his knowledge of how to stay clean and sober was very helpful for me. Through the course of the last 8 years he had been struggling, he lost his girlfriend and a good friend to this disease and found it very difficult to deal with. You see this disease is so powerful and it loves to catch you with the element of surprise and it pretends to be your best friend, it makes you feel so numb that you can neither hurt nor cry, you feel nothing at all and in the end the result is usually death.
My head is going in a 1000 different directions not really knowing what I'm thinking or feeling, at times I'm sad and crying, and then I get angry because I wish that we knew he was in so much pain where maybe we could have helped in someway and feeling so powerless that the end result was death, and wondering how I'm going to tell the hubby that our friend has died. The hubby and Nick were roommates before we got married so I know this will be a very low blow for him.
Saying goodbye to a friend is not the easiest thing to do, but I will take the good times and laughs that we shared and remember them for a lifetime.
I'm sorry this had nothing to do with poker today..... I just needed to share my feelings today.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
12 comments:
Thank you for sharing.
We are always glad to listen :-)
I am sorry to hear about your friend.
Know that we are all here for you during this rought time.
*hugs*
Hang in there.
YABAYAL - you are beautiful and you are loved.
Remember the good times and celebrate the memories that mean the most.
So sorry Lori. Whatever you need
I return the heart filled thought you sent to me earlier this week. We can share our grief together and remember all the good things we had with the loved ones we have lost. Feel free to ask for anything.
I'll be bringing some hugs with me next weekend.
So sorry; it's never an easy thing to lose a friend this way.
Anyone with a heart,
should and most likely does, ((heart)) Donkette!
I know I do!
My deepest sympathy's, and the HUGEST HUGS I have. I'll beg Kat to give you a hug just for me. It won't be quite the same, but she's a good girl. She'll get the message across for me.
Donkette
This is Joshuacarlsen from the Riverchasers. I couldn't transfer the money last night for some reason. Raisingcayne is going to send you a extra 10 bucks and I will run him over cash tomorrow.
Thanks for playing that was great!
Joshua
I'd have to think that taking 8th place out of 54 while pushing every hand, and having it net you a $100 profit probably couldn't hurt the grief management process. That push fest was ridiculously entertaining!!!
So evidently Full Tilt thinks joshuacarlsen is a money launderer or something, and didn't let him transfer you money... I sent you an extra $10 on his behalf for that AWESOME push fest run you had last night.
Thank you Raisingcayne it did put a smile on my face, it was a great time and a lot of pissed off people.....it was a true 10 commandment donkey play
I am very sorry about your friend....hang tough, girl.
Hey Gal
Sorry to hear about your friend. I havent been online to play cards or blog much so missed this. Getting caught up now.
You know the old saying but for the grace of god there go I. It could easily be you or me. SOme of us have an easier time at this recovery thing. I have choices today I didnt have when I was using and for today I chose not to drink or get high.. Your friend forget this..
Sometimes others have to die so we can live. Its cruel but the way it is. I never ever ever take my sobriety for granted and I always try to stay grateful.
Post a Comment